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Blog for February 2010

How can it grow?

Some say we have a “New York” sky line! That is quite a claim to fame for Panama City. In contrast is the existence of apartments and condos that are definitely not of the standard of uptown New York style living quarters. High rises poverty stricken and neglected by the owners with a composite of black mold, filth, and a wide range of clothes, garbage and other personal belongings hanging from every open window; a look that says “we are surviving, not living”.

The other day as we drove by one these apartments I noticed something very vibrant and green on the outside of one of those buildings. As I took a closer look, I realized it was a living vine reaching up to the sun and it had been growing for some time to be so large. It was not an ordinary vine with some brown spots and some green spots, it is so brilliant, thriving and did I mention green. How does something so vibrant and alive come from a building that promotes disease and strife and hardship, even death? By all intense and purposes, you would not expect to find such a vine and you would not expect it to thrive.

This picture of the brilliant green vine on these dark, dismal, hopeless looking homes brought to mind what I feel that Jesus does for us. In and of ourselves we are dead. Without Christ in our lives we are dead in spirit and dead to the things of God. I was like that building and nothing green was growing from me. We have no hope and we are only in survivor mode, not abundant life mode.

Then by His grace, upon our invitation, Jesus comes into our hearts. We repent of our sins and ask him to infiltrate our whole lives. What is the result; life on death. What was once dead is replaced by life and the fruit of Jesus living in us begins to make a difference.

We have been studying the book of Revelation in our church. There have been some solemn reminders of how Jesus sees his Bride. I have been reminded to return to my first love. What does that look like? For me, it’s remembering what he has done for me. He gave me life in my death. I was destined for bad things. Things which I don’t like to dwell on, but it does help me be thankful, that he redeemed me!

My first love for Jesus was total! I gave him everything. I talked to him about everything. I walked out my life with him and listened to his voice. In fact I was so on with Jesus that I went to school with a t-shirt that said “Jesus is the answer”! I was bold and without fear. I had been forgiven from much, so I loved much. It was so exciting, so new, so exhilarating. He showed himself to me and showed me how he is my Heavenly Father.

Has the zeal of my first love changed? That is where the scriptures are convicting. I know there are ways and areas of my life that I have let my exuberance and zeal wane. The Holy Spirit has reminded me that I have taken him for granted in some ways. I have not included him in all the areas of my life as I did before. It’s kind of like being married for a long time. James and I are celebrating our 29th wedding anniversary on February 14, 2010. We are familiar and comfortable and sometimes we take each other for granted and we become lax in our communications of all the things in our hearts. It doesn’t happen out of lack of love, just lack of discipline to keep things fresh. It’s my daily choice to keep our marriage interesting and wanting to give my best to James every day.

A green vine on a very dead building reminds me that Jesus has not stopped being my first love, just like James has not stopped being the love of my life. I have walked with Jesus 33 years. He hasn’t changed. He is the same and will always bring life and be life!

Seeing any green vines lately?

Going deeper,
Colleen


Blog for January 2010

A living translation

We have the privilege of knowing several missionary couples here in Panama that does scripture translation to the indigenous people groups. They have accomplished much and it has been exciting to hear of the reports by the people when they get the Word of God into their hands.

We have the privilege of having a couple doing this very thing for dinner this week. As I am preparing for them to come to our home, I have been pondering some things.

We are in affect doing the same work. And you ask the question, you have not been sent to translate scripture; you are doing the work of Regional Director? We are not called to translate the scripture in its precise and exact form as this precious anointed people do, but we are still called to translate.

Let me explain! What are we all called to do?

We are called to share the gospel with any and all people no matter where we are, right?

In doing so we are showing them through our lives our testimony who Jesus is and what he has done in our lives. He has done what he has promised in the Word of God and we reflect his glory and anointing.

As we share this gospel through words and deeds we become living translators of the bible. You see today even though people can read the word of God they do not, they need to have it in a form they will read or understand. Through you and me allowing Christ to live in and through us, they are reading this translation. It is not in words, it’s a living picture.

I have been convicted lately of how I translate the scripture. I have found myself making it complicated and difficult for others to read well. I am sensing the Lord say to me, “I am seen through your kindness, your generosity, and the simplicity of the words from your mouth”.

Jesus translation to the world through us needs to be simple, short and effective. What is the world missing today? They are craving real love, forgiveness, unconditional kindness, and genuine servant hearts. They have read a fake gospel from many, but I believe we carry the true and tested translation. I encourage you as I am being pressed by the Lord to live this translation. Be bold and show the world the One True God.

I will share a short testimony of this. The other day we were leaving our building. We were driving and because the security in our building was heightened they were stopping everyone and asking our name. The guard on duty for some reason asked us, (we had not spoken to this man prior to this moment) are you Christians? Do you have a bible I can have? He was a man that grew up in church, but had lost his way. We were so delighted he asked and we were able to give him a Spanish Bible. But how did he know to ask? He must have observed something about us, and saw the living translation of God’s Word in us somehow.

I am praying for many moments like this spontaneous one to come across my path daily. I pray for you too, that God would give you many opportunities to be a living translation that others can read and understand. You may say, well, you are a missionary, that’s your work to share Christ and it’s easier in a foreign country? I say yes to all of that, but I also know what it is to live and work in Canada. It’s harder to be a living translation because many make you think they don’t want you to be Christ to them. However, it is possible and when you begin to see yourselves as translators you will gain a new joy and a desire to share however God shows you. It’s exciting the opportunities that will come your way!

Ask the Lord to make you a readable translation to all those in your area of influence and watch him work! He is more than able and he will do the impossible!

Translating Christ in Panama!

Colleen

October 2009

What’s been on my mind…?

The other day I wrote an article concerning our love for the “list”. My premise was that we are so attached to the things we have yet to do that we don’t enjoy right now. In thinking about this issue I realize that it perpetuates another issue. I am stealing. I have been trying to steal grace God provides for us in the future. By thinking about stuff that hasn’t happened yet and often times worrying about it and trying to deal with stuff in my brain before it even happens is stealing.

Just recently I have been reading the Gospels. The Father has been reminding me not to worry. Not to take the strength of the grace he gives me for tomorrow that I don’t even possess yet. My constant thinking concerning the future, even though, it is justified as a planner person and one that likes to keep life in order and everything neat and tidy, does not give me an excuse to steal the grace from tomorrow. Try as I might, Jesus won’t give us what is not yet ours to possess. He gives me daily grace, moment by moment grace, but he won’t fulfill the grace for the future. The problems of tomorrow are not for me to be concerned about. We can pray about the future, but I like Philippians 4:8, “Be not anxious concerning anything, but by prayer and supplication make your requests known to the Lord. “ We pray about it, but do we really let him be in control of it. When I lose sleep over a situation, I know I am not in a place of trust. That is the place of anxiety and fretting.

I am trying to focus on the grace he has for me right now. My experience this morning let me know how invaluable it is for me. Today, October 10. 2009, we finally received our immigration Visa to live officially as residents in Panama. We have been waiting for this document for 2 years. It was a great moment to finally get the word that we can go to immigration and get our Visa card. We arrived at our lawyer’s office at 8:30 a.m. When the man came in who was to take us to the immigration office, he noticed that the blouse I was wearing had no sleeves. In Spanish he explained that my blouse was not acceptable for my visa picture. He didn’t give us any choice; I had to change what I was wearing. Going back to our condo was not good news for any of us. Traffic in Panama is usually horrific in that getting anywhere quickly is not usually a reality. James was not happy about this. He would admit that glitches like this are not easy for him. My usual mode of operation is that I get very anxious, feelings of failure overwhelm me and I get in a panic, because we need to be quick. However, the first words out of my mouth were “God knew this would happen”. I had such a peace that we would get home in short order and that all the stuff we had to do at immigration would go smoothly. Why did I sense this? I feel that when I stay connected to the Lord and trust his grace then I know he is in control of every circumstance; even when I mess up. My only source is to rely on God to help me. What a freeing moment, the peace came before it was all over and done with. It’s the little things in life that usually drive me crazy and make me impatient and cause huge stress and anxiety.

I believe the Lord is trying to help me stay connected and stay in his grace for the day, the moment, the hour. When I choose to hook up to his grace and believe him to work the stuff out that I have no control over, I can have peace, and know that he is enjoying me accepting and living the moment. Bottom line, I have been stealing from tomorrow and I have missed out on his grace that he has for me right now. I am determined to live looking at life differently, enjoying the grace, peace and assurance that he is with me.
When we finally finished our rendezvous at the immigration office, we tipped the man that drove us there and helped us with all the documentation. I share this only to let you know that when I am present and in the moment and connected to the Lord, I hear what I need to do and how to bless others. The look on his face was priceless. He didn’t know what to say. He obviously wasn’t expecting it, and that is when giving randomly is so much fun!

It’s good to get this off my mind!

Colleen---in the now!

August 2009

What’s been on my mind…
Missing doing my blog!

I can’t believe that summer is half way over! After my birthday in the early part of July the summer feels like time is headed down a landslide, and no way to catch up or slow it down.

So you may wonder, what does a missionary do when they live in a country where summer is all year round?

Good question…get hot! Stay hot and try to find ways to cool off. Actually, in reality I miss the seasons. I have lived in Africa at the equator and same thing. Summer is all year round. So I look forward to times when I can get to a cooler climate and enjoy putting on a hoody or a coat…strange I know.

This also brings about another thought. What happens personally when things seem the same all year round? We have the same routine, same friends, same church, and same lifestyle. How can you change it up? It’s like the weather some times. You have no control over what goes on around you. However, unlike the weather, we have the opportunity to look for ways to change the mundane into an adventure.

I love to watch people. Much can be gained by watching people-you get insight into their world, just by observation. What this has done is help me be more perceptive about what people need. When I begin to focus on what people need wherever I am, life is anything but mundane.

I am in the store buying groceries, I see a mother with 2 little people, she has a cart full of groceries and I have a just few things. We are lined up at the cashier, and I let her go ahead of me. All of a sudden, her countenance changes and she gives me a smile and we begin to chat. I have made good friends doing little things like that.

What do people need? We need to be cared for, paid attention to, listened to, cherished and respected. Those are just to name a few. Many times those needs can be met in very small ways. Have you ever concentrated on making sure you make eye contact with the person who is talking to you? That validates them, and makes them feel that they are important in your life. It takes very little sometimes to meet other people’s needs. For instance we as women want to be listened to, we don’t have to have our needs fixed. We just want to be heard.

Have you ever watched how people greet each other in church or in other social settings? So many times, I have had people shake my hand and never look at me. It’s the funniest thing, but as they are shaking my hand they are entering into conversation with someone across the way. I have learned to not take it personally. However, it is something that can totally be avoided by caring about the little things. When you make everyone around you feel important, that means you are caring about the little things in life. This again changes the mundane. Practice shaking hands in church and actually paying attention to the person you just shook hands with…it’s a novelty to watch what happens….it may change your entire life. You might just meet a new friend, or find the love of your life…who knows.

We can’t change how people treat us or meet everyone’s needs but we can make a choice everyday to pay attention to others and see how the Lord wants us to help or be a blessing in some small way. It’s amazing how much fun it is, and how it will take “u” out of mundane!

Jesus said to the disciples in the gospel of John, “My food is to the will of him who has sent me and to finish his work” (John 4:34) I believe Jesus knew how to be satisfied meeting other people’s needs. Can we?

In Him,
Colleen

June 2009

What’s on my mind?

I want to share some important life lessons, as my days are swiftly passing and I am soon to be confronting the 50’s:

1. Enjoy the moment! I am a future thinker, planner; a person that does detail. That in itself makes “enjoying the moment” a challenge. Why? I tend to feel that if we are not thinking of the next thing, or planning for tomorrow that we will miss out, or not have it together. But what I am finding is that by making the future my focus, I am actually robbing myself of the joy of the now. We are only given grace for today. Tomorrow holds no guarantee according to the Word of God. Knowing all this does not make the discipline of enjoying the moment any easier. However, the times when I focus on the now and let that be enough, I find the joy factor increase tremendously. Like the other day, we were traveling again and I found myself thinking when this is over, I will do this and this and my mind was racing and I was feeling very anxious. Then I realized what I was doing to myself and to the Lord. The root of my thoughts was that I needed to know the next steps and to be in control. That has been the source of my need to focus on the future---control. In the mean time, I miss out emotionally on the experience at hand. I give my best to the now, when I am in the now. I give my best to the Father when I trust him with the now and with tomorrow. Peace and tranquility is my portion when I let this moment be and enjoy whoever is sharing it with me.

2. Forgive with mercy and learn to shelf the memory by God’s grace. Just recently I was confronted with a situation that brought to mind a painful memory. I had a choice; to both relive the situation and let the pain of it get to me and make me upset all over again, or choose to allow God’s grace to prevail and forgive again! Note the word “again”. We are always on a journey of forgiveness; remember the “70 times 7” approach that Jesus shared. This is the reality of forgiveness. Where most of us get bogged down is when we think that forgiveness is a onetime deal and if they mess up and hurt me again, well too bad, because that is all the forgiveness I had for a one time mess up. There is no peace in holding on to hurt and the pain of what circumstances, people and even God has allowed in our lives. Forgiveness with mercy is forgiving with the realization that the very same thing could occur all over again. What should be my response? Whatever my response for that I will give an account. The joy of forgiveness comes in not only being obedient to the Lord, but it releases you and it releases them, or the situation. Forgiveness gives freedom from “the weights and sins” Hebrews talks about. We carry that which we cannot or have not forgiven.

3. Celebrate others successes! What joy came to my life when I began to enjoy others successes. I actually found a personal freedom, was shown more respect and established deeper friendships. For me, nothing is more repulsive than to be around someone with a jealous critical tongue. This behavior is often rooted in deep insecurity. Why do we criticize? We often feel that we can not measure up or that they will be liked more or that we won’t be liked because they are so liked. Life is not a competition. Celebrating others for their accomplishments, appearance and giftings actually kicks the devil in the mouth and helps to shut down our negative self talk. I will esteem others better than myself!

…thanks for joining me on my journey!

Always,
Colleen


April 2009

What’s on my mind...
...the adventure of travel in Honduras.

We have the privilege of seeing people and places in many different contexts. The most interesting recently was today. We took a big greyhound type bus from Trujillo Honduras to La Ceiba Honduras about 8 hours from the capital city Tegucigulpa.

Arriving at the bus depot in Trujillo 7:00 am, we are very aware that we are the only white people joining the nationals for this trip. The bus driver sees us and we explain that he needs to drop us off at the aeropuerto (airport) in La Ceiba. This seems easy, but it takes many more notifications to make sure they do just that.

We get seated on the bus, and at exactly 7:30 am we leave the terminal. This in itself is quite a feat given most of Latin culture is to wait and see who else is coming, or lets take another 10 minutes to make sure all is well.

Our first stop is about 3 blocks down the road some people get on. No one talks, no one says anything about tickets, they just sit. We have 2 more stops before leaving Trujillo. At this point I am thinking how long will this trip take.

Finally we get on our way and we are in high gear and cruising. Then the man who helps the driver starts asking for tickets. He comes to us and we hand him our paid tickets. He rips the small portion off the main ticket and returns it to us. Nothing said. He realizes we are gringos that speak english. It is surprising to him when we engage him in Spanish conversation.

We continue our journey and stop several times to drop more people off and obtain more passengers. Again no tickets exchanged, no asking, no talking, but they all know what’s going on. Eventually they will get around to asking every new person for money for the ticket.

Arriving at the half way point we stop for about 20 minutes. This is where the adventure begins. All of sudden many people come on the bus. Soon we realize these are local vendors. They carry an assortment of chicken, fresh baked honduran pastry or the local soft drinks. The first man to approach us gives us a taste test of his pastry. It’s a piece of corn bread with honey. I didn’t indulge this morsel, but James said it was tasty. We didn’t have many limpuras with us, so we had to say no to any major purchases at this point. A few stops later, the same bombardment of food and drink, except this time the taste test was of a cookie kind of pop tart pastry. It was still warm and had brown sugar on top. I did indulge this flavor stop...mmm very tasty. So the 10 limpuras we did have went to buying us 2 of these pastries, which in US currency is about 50 cents.

We continue, by this time it is only 9:30 am and it feels like it’s we have been on the bus all morning. The passengers come and go and we have the front row view of all the happenings. Several women get on the bus with their babies and everyone helps them. The passengers although strangers to the mother will help hold their babies, or feed them or just watch them for the mother. It’s a community affair having children in Latin America. The mothers are passive and content knowing that even though their husbands may not be active in the raising of the children any where they go people will help them.

We stop again at another main terminal. This stop is not quite as long as the last one, but now the vendors are outside the bus barking “pollo caliente, freco, jugos & frutca” all the Spanish words for the objects in their hands; which mean hot chicken meal, juice, & fruit. The people in these countries are extremely creative, hard working. They have learned what the market needs and do what they can to provide that for us the buyers.
The time is a little after 10:00 am and we are nearing our destination. The country side has been fascinating. The land scape is lush green with many different palm trees, ranging from oil, date and coconut. The Dole company is big in this part of Honduras and you see many of their trucks transporting the goods necessary for export.

The people in their homes are very close the road we are on, so it was easy to observe their lives in the short snippet of time we pass by. I was filled with compassion as I observed this one women. She was intense in getting the family wash completed in the direct tropical sun as quickly as possible. This is no easy endeavor. The women scrub their clothes in a cement scrub board and water is not very plentiful which translates into long,arduous and very hot. I look over her property only to see a man which I presume is her husband sitting outside in front of their house on a very comfortable chair. His feet are up on some log thing and he is resting in the sun, doing absolutely nothing. It bothered me because it seems like an injustice for the woman in the home. I know this is very typical latin culture. It just seems a pity. The whole yard and home needed attention, but she can only do so much. It seemed to me that she had resigned herself to life and this is the way it will be.

Not long after this we entered into the city of La Ceiba and after much coaching the driver dropped us off at the airport as promised.

As exited the bus James and I commented about how much we enjoyed this journey. We love to see cultures up close and personal and this truly was one of those opportunities. We would definitely do it again. It was a treat to be with the people of Honduras!

I will share more of my adventures in Brazil in May....


...with what’s on my mind.

Praying for you!

Colleen

February 24, 2009

Living in the Moment!

It’s been a while since I wrote my last Blog. I apologize for the delay. As you can guess we have been traveling extensively and unfortunately out of internet zones. Now, finally we are back in the land of the living!

It’s been an extra ordinary start to our new year. We have had the privilege to travel around the world and back again. With travel comes opportunity. We meet so many interesting people and it affords us moments to share about our love and relationship with Christ.
Let me tell you about a man we met on a airplane on our way back to Panama a few days ago. He talked about his “new life”. His whole premise was based on new age thinking, which we challenged with scripture. But he said one statement that really challenged me, and I can’t quit thinking about it.

He talked about “living in the moment”. This can be taken many different ways, but in a biblical context, as I see it, this makes a lot of sense. I believe he said this just for me. You see lately I have been either living in the past with some regret or trying to borrow grace for tomorrow. Either of the choices are not what Christ instructed us about. He told us to live today, for tomorrow has its own worries. (paraphrased) I began thinking about how much energy I have expended on the past or on the future, instead of enjoying this moment, this day, this blessing right in front of me. As I reflected more, I once again reminded myself that I can’t change the past. I can only ask for and receive forgiveness for wrongs I have done and move on. I can’t govern over the future, which is totally in God’s hands. My only responsibility is what I do with this moment. I have the choice to engage this moment and enjoy it or to waste it away with regret or worry. Since the chat with this man on the airplane I have made a conscious effort to “live in the moment”. I have a noticed a few things about myself since I have engaged “the moment”.

1. Taking pleasure in the small things.
2. Learning to laugh at life’s foibles my own included
3. Seeking to bless others “in their moments” to make memories.
4. Enjoying where I am at any given time…even in heavy crazy Panama traffic!
5. Resting in the future knowing and trusting the Sovereignty of God

These are just a few ways in which my day has changed. I am confident that our meeting with the man on the airplane was not coincidence. It was a divine moment from the Lord. I have only been given grace for today; Lord may I make the most of every moment of my days….Amen!


December 29, 2008

What’s been on my mind...

... is that it is an incredible thing to think we have been in Panama nearly a year. Our one year anniversary will be January 17, 2009.

I can still remember the smells, the sights and the feelings I had as we landed in the country at 5:00 am. Very exhausted, we found a taxi to drive us to our hotel. After a short sleep we began our preparations to make Panama City our new home.

I remember thinking how surreal every thing seemed. This entire move was a huge step of faith. We were made to believe (by the people in charge of getting us a place to live) that our place of residence would be ready for us to move into, To our disappointment the process of obtaining it was not even close to being ready. Even though this piece of news took us by surprise, God is never surprised. Our faithful Father went ahead of us. He gave us favor with the owner and we were given permission to move in ahead of schedule. Our step of faith continues as we began the work of Regional Director in Latin America and Caribbean, from the ground up!

Time after time, God showed us his mercy and favor. We obtained relationships with people that new things to help us set up an office. We “stumbled” across others that new others, that had the resources we needed to get every detail in place. The Father is such a great administrator and cares about the smallest of details. With him there is no stumbling or coincidence, only a quiet confidence that he is in charge!

Transition, changes, the new, and the unfamiliar. All words to describe this past year. It has been in the midst of all this that I feel like I have grown so much.
I have grown in learning to really seek him first and then watch all these things be added unto me personally and to us collectively!
I have grown in my trust that he really does have my best at heart and he wants to work in my life and help me be fruitful even as a foreigner a new land.

What will 2009 hold for us? That question I can not answer, but what I do know is that God knows what is ahead. Do I wonder? Yes. Do I fear? No. I am confident in this, that he who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 1:6)

I pray that in 2009, you will experience this quiet confidence from him, that he is in charge and he is working in you!

Keeping you in mind!

Colleen

December 14, 2008

Armed by Time!

For those of you who have been following James’ blog…

The saga of the clock not hung on the wall continues. I think, however, it is my turn to respond to this incessant conversation that lacks action! To my way of thinking the clock is not fully serving its purpose until it is in its destined place; the wall in our office. I am always asking James for the time. In doing so I am hoping some kind of conviction will overtake him to once and for all put this clock to work, and lets it’s arms stop aching for it’s rightful job, to show forth it’s time!
It has become a thing of angst for me and the clock…we want ticking for all! Will even this challenging blog do the job!! I am unsure… I put it out there for all others to see maybe by peer pressure some how the job will get done! Maybe that will be my Christmas present!! What fun will that be…to have time in its place. One can only take time to hope, take time to pray. My urgency is to have time in the New Year! Maybe James will want this too! Email him with your thoughts. jguskjolen@paoc.org


From the timeless office!

Colleen


November 4, 2008

What is on my mind?

Historical, nail bitting, unpredictable, chaotic! These are words I would describe the situation in the US concerning this election and how it is affecting the entire world.

Today, November 4th 2008 marks the day when all will be decided according to the voters and candidates. As a Canadian and as a Christian I have found myself somewhat distressed over all that I see going on. The immobilization of people due to fear is incredible. The Media’s inability to be bias has put too much power in their hands; the way we respond when something happens we don’t like, and how we have been taken in by false reports on both sides.

I sense a deep rooted panic even amongst some Christians. It grieves my heart that I hear people say we fear if the “wrong” person gets in, that all will go to “Hades in a hand basket”!

We ought not to be surprised or fear for the Bible says that when these things begin to happen, to lift up our heads. Many believers studying the days and the seasons are saying we are in the time of the “birth pangs”. I believe we are. In fact I believe we are at a crucial time not only in the world but in the church. God is calling all people everywhere to sanctification, holiness and purity. He is preparing us his Bride to be ready and watching!

The question I have to ask myself and may it provoke you. Am I ready for Jesus’ return?

This question carries with it more questions.
We can ask ourselves, have we done enough? Have we been careful to share the gospel with everyone with whom we have opportunity? Have we prayed enough? Are all our loved ones saved? Has the whole world heard and had an opportunity to receive him?

The questions go on and on.
What are my answers? To some I say it will never be enough. There is room for improvement on all levels of my love and commitment to God.
How can we know we are ready?

I have come to some conclusions. My first question is do I love the Lord with all my heart soul mind and body, and secondly do I love my neighbor has myself? If I can answer yes to this question, than I am in a constant state of readiness. My whole desire is to please him, and love him and love others, than my attitude will be on the eternal not the temporal. My associations with others will be for the purposes to share the love and forgiveness I have received. My deepest longing and desire will be to stay in the Word and to be praying without ceasing. This is the way we can know we do the will of the Father daily. It is not motivated by panic, fear of the future or “futures”. I am daily motivated by love and the one who loves me motivates me to love and to good works. It’s not a matter of choosing God because I need a great escape plan or that I fear death. It’s choosing to love and serve him because I know him, I know his desires and plans for me, and I know he is always with me…even unto the end of the age.

Sounds simplistic, not so. It is relationship that is grounded and founded on our love for God with all that we are, not based on bias or on what people say or do, or don’t say or don’t do.

I challenge you to search your heart, and ask Jesus to search it with you. Ask him if you are motivated by fear, or love. Love takes the fear out of life, and replaces the panic with peace. That is our portion and will be our portion if we choose Him!


This is what is on my mind!!!

Challenged!

Colleen

October Blog Part 2

I think of what Jesus experienced on the cross for me. I was not there, but when I gave my life to him, it was as if I had been there. It’s been 31 years since I gave my whole life to Christ and gave him Lordship of every part of me. I know how I was when I first accepted him, when I first sensed and knew his forgiveness and experienced his peace. The reality of what he did for me in dying on the cross touched me so dramatically that my whole life changed. I was in high school at the time and every student in that school knew I was different…I made sure they were aware. I remember so clearly learning to hear his still small voice and hearing it for the first time. I couldn’t contain my joy and my love for my Lord. The zeal and love I had for God was used to turn my high school to a place of prayer and opportunity for the many to see the radical difference Jesus made in me. I was close to the crisis of the cross. The reality of the cross and resurrection was incredible. No matter how much persecution, rejection or shame I experienced nothing would deter me from my love and loyalty to my God. I was close to the crisis, I could visualize and sense all that it meant to be forgiven, cleansed and made new.

Now 31 years later removed from the crisis by years, yet not knowledge. I feel that my zeal has waned in some ways and has grown stronger in others.

Question?
How do we stay as fresh and as zealous after the crisis, after everyone has gone and a new day begins? After everyone is away from the altar, and no one else needs prayer or help. How do we maintain that fresh with a holy adrenaline? What kind of “hutspa” (my own word) insertion do we need that only can come from the Father; that changes us and changes others.

I look at the book of Acts. The disciples went from being at the crisis of the cross, the joy of Jesus resurrection and yet they fumbled around until Jesus showed up again some 40 days later. Then upon Jesus instructions in Acts 1:7 & 8 which I believe is fundamental and profound in answering our question. It says in the NIV “He (Jesus) said to them; “It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”
The key in this verse is not only that which we teach so profoundly; that “we will receive power”, the other key is in being a witness. I have watched cold cases in murder and other investigative shows. I am fascinated by them for some reason. The best help they have in a cold case is the witnesses. No matter how long ago, what was seen and experienced by the witnesses usually stuck with them and they share it with passion and pain as if they were right back there at the scene. This is our portion. As witnesses we are reporting what has happened to us, no matter how long it’s been since we experienced the moment and the crisis. You may ask what the crisis of becoming a believer is. The answer to that is to understand what you go through to become a believer. The crisis is the part of when we really recognize we are sinners bound for hell. Jesus Christ died for all our sins, but we must face the crisis of our sins and repent. After repentance comes the witness of his love and mercy and grace. How do you know? You know that you are different when you don’t want to do the same things you did before you accepted Jesus.
You know because now you have peace, real peace that is not man made or induced. You know because your life has hope, and you daily begin to see God answer prayers, big and small.

Let’s keep close to the crisis, that we may be strong witnesses of what the Father has done for us through his Son. I challenge you as these days are dark and the world is in its own crisis, that we don’t remover ourselves from the very thing that can take us to eternity, our faith in Jesus Christ, and to love him with all of our heart soul mind and strength. Staying close to the crisis of repentance and holy adrenaline will be our keeping during all that lies ahead for us…
Be encouraged my brothers and sisters in the crisis!


October Blog ‘08
Removed from the Crisis
Part 1 of a 2 Part series!!!

After 911 a crisis of this decade like no other affecting so many and so much, there was a holy adrenaline of helps, that being hospitality and ministry to the many. We as a nation and a people were focused on doing whatever we could to help and aid that which was beyond our control.

Not unlike the Holocaust, even now just saying the word “Holocaust” sets off all kinds of emotions to many in the world that experienced the reign of Hitler! However, the world finally did help and take on the “Reign of Terror” and defeat him and help restore the people of God. Unfortunately not until much destruction had already taken place. Yet we are aware of the crisis and by accounts of those that went through it the Lord had his hand on things and did many miracles through his people in the midst of this devastation toward the entire Jewish race.

We too are witnesses of a personal crisis, the death of our first born son. We were pregnant with in for almost 4 months. Then for reasons that God only knows he was taken to heaven. Even though the sting of the crisis is gone, the ache in my Momma’s heart still remains. Although I would say I am removed from the crisis by time, and memory.

How far and how long are we removed from any crisis when it begins to lose its potency and affect in our lives; when we no longer have a situation at the forefront of our thinking and prayers and intercession? And when do we no longer act on the knowledge of what is and has been the crisis?


End of Part 1


September 01, 2008

What’s been on my heart….
My heart has been on my family, more precisely my son, Joshua.

About 2 weeks ago I felt very strongly to fast for 3 days. In the midst of the fast I had some very special and specific things I felt the Lord wanted me to pray through.

One of those areas was for my son---Joshua. He is a grown man, and has his life with his family, Tyla his wife and Taija-Lynn their beautiful 10 month old daughter. Everything looks like it’s going well. But in my heart I knew he was struggling with his employment. It has been extremely oppressive and very trying for him. On the onset of this work I felt that it wasn’t going to be easy.

My mother’s heart had agonized every day that he was on the job, and I knew that something needed to change. My only and best resource is the Father. He knows all things and he answers prayer for our kids. When Mom’s pray…Satan look out…all hell is going to break lose. And it did. I spent those days in fasting and prayer, praying very diligently and specifically for Joshua. I prayed for a release from this job, and I prayed the Father would make a way for the destiny on his life.

Just this past week, Josh knew a change was needed. He started looking for work in the realms that would facilitate his life’s passion. We prayed again that the Lord would guide his footsteps and provide for him. He needs to work, he is a husband and a father and there is little room for down time. Within 5 days of looking, the Lord so directed his steps, he was hired for a job right on the spot that was within the realm of his desires and eventual destiny.

Josh pursued and I prayed. What a team!

From this I want to share several things that I have learned.
1. Do not give up…God has invited us into a relationship with him so we trust him with everything…even the impossible. It looked impossible that anything in Josh’s life was going to change. But God is faithful to pursue us and get us where he wants us to be, and he invites us (Moms) to be in agreement with him.
2. Do not be weary in well doing, especially when you see nothing happening. It’s easy to just to think I guess the Lord didn’t want this or that to happen. But I believe he fills us with such a passion and a knowing in our hearts what he does want and until we see it come to pass we can’t lay that prayer down.
3. What’s in it for me?...A great reward of seeing the Lord work in my son’s life. It was such an honor to rejoice with him when he phoned and said” Mom & Dad guess what?” We knew the Lord had answered our most specific and simple prayers. He is the God of details and he doesn’t miss one.
4. My joy is knowing that when I feel far away from Josh physically, God uses those times in prayer to help me feel close to him and helps me feel that I am still an effectual Mom and blessing to his life and to the life of his family.

Before Josh was born the Lord gave us the promise that he would be a great blessing to us. God has made this happen over and over again. I am so blessed to be his Mom and I am blessed to be a child of God. For all Mom’s reading this, take heart…we will see the destiny on our children’s lives if we pursue the Lord. Our prayers are more powerful than all the words we can ever share.

Keep this on your mind today!!

Colleen --- a happy Mom!

July 31, 2008

What’s on YOUR mind?
Let me tell you what’s on MY mind…

…I am angry! Yes you read it correctly angry! Why you ask?

I am angry because I am lied to by the enemy and I often believe the lies.

I am angry that the enemy tries to torments me with half truths of scripture and I lack knowledge of scripture thus bringing a distortion of truth in my life.

I am angry that people all over the world are sick and dying needlessly.

I am angry that due to the lack of parental care at times & lack of godly education , our girls are losing their virginity to just anyone who will take it; and at very early ages. Then they have an abortion to rid themselves of any pregnancy that may result.

I am angry that women and men who suffer emotional and verbal abuse in their relationships; hide it and suffer the shame of its existence.

I am angry that we have at our disposal the power of God and his Word and yet we feel so weak and undone to take authority over our adversary.

I think you get my point….more than just being angry I am suffering with righteous anger. There are some injustices in our world that I don’t have any control over.
There are some things I mentioned that make me angry that I can not resolve. It’s only God that can intervene and move in these realms.

However, we do have “everything we need for life and godliness”. We do have answers for our personal lives and for the lives of others if they are willing to receive it.

There is hope, and my position is to stay in the Word, stay in prayer, and be on guard against all the strategies of the enemy.

My challenge to you as from the Lord is Philippians 4:8 ---and then in Isaiah 26: 3. These scriptures talk specifically from the Lord about our mind. We know the enemy wants our minds and he wants to keep us anxious and doubting and without desire for the Word.
I am taking a strong stand in my personal life to regain ground and dig into God’s word, memorize it and keep what is good, pure, peaceable, noble etc. in my mind.

We can not afford to give away what the Lord has given to us. We do have everything we need for life and godliness (II Peter 1:3), our position is to live it!


June 18 (part 2)

A day out of the city…

Last week James and I had the privilege of traveling outside of Panama City. Our priority was to see what places would be acceptable for future retreats for our Regional Missionaries. The perk that came with that excursion was the joy of seeing places and people unknown to us.

We happened upon a small village in the interior of Panama. It was called El Valley (pronounced El Vai e). It was quaint. While sitting down for coffee, we noticed the people living there had a care free attitude, and were seemingly happy. We spent some time in the main market area and learned about their talents and gifts of creative expression.
We were so blessed. It was more than we expected. It was definitely an unexpected treat, and it happened because James loves to search out the places that are out of the way.
Our adventure really began earlier that day…at lunch time. We were pulling away from a resort park and saw a sign “X-S RV Park & Restaurant”. It was tucked away off the beaten path and it didn’t look like much from the sign. Signs don’t always tell the whole story. We decided to check it out.

The little restaurant welcomed us with the tropical birds and goats that were apparently very domesticated. It was quaint and hardly any people. We see by the menu board they served Panamanian fare which has become our preference. We sat down and talked to the waitress in as much Spanish as possible and ordered our food. While were waiting to eat, we noticed they had English books for sale (real cheap). Being book people James and I checked them out. The one book shelf was near this couple. We noticed them when we first arrived but didn’t pay too much attention. When James went over to the books the young man approached him and just said hi. He and his girlfriend spoke English…wow great. Conversation!!! As we began to talk they began to share their story. Their immediate need was to find very cheap accommodations in Panama City. They were from B.C. and were traveling to South America by van, and needing to ship there van to South America and resume there travels from there. We didn’t know how to help them with their accommodation needs as we didn’t know the prices and where to find a good deal like that just off the top of our heads. We told them we would ponder their questions while we had our lunch.
James and I returned to our seat. We both felt an instant connection with Moreno and Ashley. They seemed to be very sincere, and we sensed had a genuine need. We sat in silence for a while, both pondering how can we help them. Finally, I made a suggestion to James. “Honey, why don’t we invite them to stay with us?” He was thinking the same thing. Accommodations in the city were very expensive and we love having people stay with us. They are young and vibrant and have a real love for life. We sensed that we would not be in error to invite them to stay. We both agreed, let’s go and make them an offer.
We approached them asking them if they would like to stay with us. They were so overwhelmed. They didn’t know what to say. We made them an offer they couldn’t refuse. And it only took them a couple of seconds to say yes!!!
Wow again!!!! Now we were really excited. We don’t know these young adults from Adam, yet it was obvious the Lord directed out path.
Monday morning we met them on the outskirts of Panama City and took them to our home.
To make a long story short, we have made life long friends. They are like extended family now and we are so thankful for the Lord to give us such an opportunity. Who would have known we can do missions to Canadians in Latin America.

This is a long story to share life lessons that James and I are desiring to make a life goal.
Take a risk…with people, experiences, new friendships. The rewards from this have been so incredible. Even though it seems we are the ones giving, we have found that we gain so much more in return. At the time I write this blog, they are still with us. We are so honored that they are staying, and we know that Moreno and Ashley are welcome in our home anytime. They in turn have given us the same invitation.

We are so honored that God would trust us with this moment. I can’t even imagine if we had just said to them, “Sorry can’t help you”. “You are on your own.”
We would have missed out on a wonderful, memorable, and God given blessing.
For many that would be too much of a risk. We think of it this way. If something bad was on their hearts to do to us, we know God would help us through it. We are not naïve to think that every one can be trusted, but I believe that God gives us discernment, and we have to trust His judgment. They are his kids too! All we have is the Lord’s so if God asks us to share it with strangers; you never know when you may be entertaining angels unaware!

Take a risk in your travels whether a road unknown or approaching a stranger in your midst. The reward can be priceless!

June 18, 2008

What’s on my mind…
…is what I mind …

I mind…

That I don’t know Spanish as well as I desire.
That I don’t feel that I accomplish enough in one day.
That time goes too fast and I forget to enjoy the moment.
That the ones I love I can’t see enough.
That my Children & Granddaughter live far away.
That I haven’t spoiled my kids more!!! (Spoiled with love, not things)
That my birthday is soon to be and I am too close to 50.
That shopping for clothes is more difficult as I get older, it seems like the sizing has changed!!
That wearing panty hose in the tropics is some times expected (should be classified as a sin).
That I spend too much time fretting and not enough time trusting.
That I can’t buy gifts for my girl friends more often.
That my Mom is gone to heaven and I can’t share my days with her.
That there are moments in a day when I take for granted the goodness of the Father.
That my husband and I didn’t know in our early years what we know about each other today.
That I didn’t take more time to teach my son the things I value the most.
That I don’t always take the opportunities that present themselves.
That I don’t share Christ as freely as when I was first born again.
That I have regrets at all.
That I don’t know all my extended family well.
That some of my family and friends don’t know Jesus as their Lord.
That I don’t let those I love in to that inner sanctum of my heart more often.

These are just a few thoughts that I share with you. My desire in sharing this limited list is to bring accountability to me to make some very specific changes in my life. I challenge you to make your list of the things you mind, and work to make the changes to your actions or reactions. It will bring you joy.

(This is not a list in order of their priorities in my life, just thoughts that have been on my heart)


May 31, 2008

First time in any country…what are my perceptions, feelings, memories, senses, delights….

We are in Trinidad Airport (Port of Spain) in transit from Barbados to Panama City (home). As I sit here I am reflecting on our week in a country neither of us has visited. We both have different senses about our time there, but I want to take you through my journey of Barbados; my lens.

Let’s take a walk…
…We arrived in Barbados in the evening of May 22, 2008. We were instantly picked up by an authorized taxi of the country. They are very specific about who can collect passengers from the airport, not just any taxi.
The ride from airport to Hotel was not that interesting. We were in the back of the van and it was quite dark. My prayer throughout the ride was “Will they have us booked in our room properly. “ When you travel as much as we do, you do not take anything for granted. We arrived at the Blue Horizon in a very short time. We couldn’t figure out why they called it the Blue Horizon, nevertheless we arrived. We stepped to the front desk. There is always the issue of how to spell our name. This was not the trouble this time. Our soon discovered issue was that the person taking care of registration to this Conference Hotel neglected to book us for our whole stay. I was quite anxious…and her first response to us was “We are fully booked”. Great…now what do we do…I kept saying to James in my detail administrative personality, that I should have clarified and reconfirmed our booking!!! Why didn’t I do that? Very soon after she said something that was a real answer to my prayer…”We are going to give you an upgrade to accommodate the error in the booking”. That really blew me away…that was the last thing I expected to have happen…My thought was how do we find another hotel…but in short order we had our keys in hand and to our room we went.

Our first days in Barbados were designated to the conference and pre conference meetings. My expectations of any thing else were very low. Yet shortly after James’ first meeting with the executive he said he was free. Yeah!!!
One nice thing we did happen to notice in coming to the Hotel the night before was that the beach was directly across from us…another yeah!!!
So when James’ arrived back from his meetings we hit the beach…we had not experienced a beach of this quality since our time in the Seychelles. We were both delighted and blessed to enjoy another facet of Barbados. We stepped onto the warm white sand and just stood in awe of the magnificent picture that engaged our eyes. The turquoise clear water and the wind that made white caps on the waves along with the water hitting the beach, was saying to us “Come on in”. Eventually our feet and then our entire being were abandoned to the sea of the Caribbean. Who could resist!
To the neglect of everything else we stayed most of the day enjoying the warmth of the Caribbean sun…it is very hot, but it didn’t keep us from sitting in the shade and watching the people of Barbados live their lives. We noticed that the proprietors of the beach were very careful to make sure you were comfortable…if you wanted a lounge chair, or umbrella, or food or anything else they were there to make it happen…of course they like the financial remuneration that comes with it…but all in all they were very hospitable.

The next day was the beginning of the full conference. We were anxious to join with the Pastors and leaders of the Pentecostal Assemblies of the West Indies, known as PAWI.
We soon discovered they loved to be organized and every one in their right spot and given all they would need to enjoy the conference. The fact that everyone spoke English was a first blessing. We then enjoyed meeting persons after persons of different churches, ministry experience and leadership status.
We soon were introduced to a couple, Adrian and Eudine Banfield. They minister in Grenada West Indies. I didn’t recognize them at first, but their name caught my attention. Then over breakfast one morning my jaw started to drop as they shared their story. What was the surprise and to my utter amazement is they attended Hi-Way Tabernacle the church in Portage La Prairie, MB, in the 70’s. The very church I attended after giving my heart to Jesus as a teenager. We put it all together and both realized who each other was…I couldn’t believe it…what a hoot of laughter and shear delight. God is so good. Who would have dreamed people who were influential in my life back in the day, would come right back into my life without any human intervention. God blessed me richly that day.

But that was not the end of my blessings…
…A few days later at an evening rally with the conference delegates a white lady approached me. She did so mainly because there were only us 3 white people there. She said her name was Kathleen. As we began chatting and sharing stories another amazing moment unfolded. Kathleen began sharing that she grew up in Penticton B.C. I quickly asked her what church she attended. She said “Bethel Pentecostal Church”. My heart was racing, could this be another divine moment from the past? The story grew more interesting as we continued to talk. I shared with her some of the people that really ministered to me, and were really instrumental in my getting saved. One of the people that I mentioned turned out to be this ladies mother. And Kathleen too was at the church in girls club the same time I was there.
Wow!!! I was overwhelmed with thankfulness to the Lord. This meeting meant so much to me. This lady didn’t know just how much her mother meant to me. Her mother faithfully rode with me on the Sunday school bus every Sunday. Sister Beagle always cried about how much Jesus loved her and had mercy on her life. Jesus radiated from that woman. Kathleen said that her mother had passed away, but she confirmed all my memories of her.
Memories of the past that really influenced my life makes me very aware of being faithful as one who goes before….and truly they were and are faithful.
God gave me rich blessings this week, why I am not sure, but I thank him for it. It also reminds me that the people of God are everywhere and we are truly a family.

That wraps up the highlights of our time in Barbados…I could go on and on, but this blog is already too long…
…Catch up with you on the next one!

Touched by Jesus…
Colleen

What to expect from the unexpected…
…It happens to most of us at one time or another!

Since James and I made the commitment to do missions in Latin America and Caribbean, we have come face to face with the unexpected many times. Now I need to clarify that not all unexpected is negative. Some of these unexpected moments have been so rewarding and over the top with grace and mercy from the Father. It’s the negative ones that I think I need to work on….
….so what is really going on? We have faced many road blocks to the plans of being residence in Panama City, Panama. We often presume that when God specifically calls you to a specific place for a specific time and reason that he makes the roads straight and the valleys high and the mountains low…like Isaiah discovered. However, we are in this world therefore we will face trials of various kinds. For us it has seemed like one after another. People that came to us via reference became unreliable; things required of us administratively stretched us to the max, and then the climax we were challenged to the core in our physical being. The ordinary became extraordinary when the insurance company that we working with demanded we go above and beyond the usual health check out and ended up with James having a biopsy. Wow…that really took me by surprise. It seems like nothing here in this realm is simple, and yet in so many other things, God has blown us away with his amazing provision and supply of even the tiniest detail.

We have come to expect that God is really in control and when things don’t go the way you think they should, it’s for a reason. Some of the reasons for our challenges have been to make us realize that we are in a fight and that the enemy does not want us in God’s will, and he will do anything to try and make it seem otherwise. We have learned to expect that when we seek first the Kingdom of God …all things are added unto us. It just may take a while. We have come to expect that when we are challenged to the core, God will guide us through it, and show us his way and his navigation skills. I know there are more unexpected moments coming. In knowing this I can expect His peace; that I can expect to never be alone in it, and I can expect others are praying.

Unexpected circumstances can be the greatest blessing if we are expecting God to be in them.

Don’t give up…

Sharing my heart….Colleen Guskjolen


It has been a while since I have connected with my blog. Please forgive my delays.
Many things have been going on to get ready to return to Panama. We are on route as I write this today.
My heart is heavy as I once again say good-bye to our children and extended family and great friends. On one hand I am so excited about what God is doing in our Region of Latin America and the Caribbean, and it has become home. However, the pang of my heart as I say my good-byes especially to our children is very difficult.

Why?? First of all even though the call is indelible in my heart and being, the human Mother and Granny in me say that I don’t want to miss out on their lives.
How do I overcome the sadness and relinquish myself to what we are to do?
I believe the Father is always one step ahead of us, that’s why He is our Sovereign Lord and Master. He knew what I would go through today, and yet he says,” I will not change the plan to compensate for the pain, but I will be with you and give you my presence and peace and assurance that you will see them again and that will be ok.” In the midst of my tears and ache what does that look like…as I have been traveling through the airports every time I see a little person I think…oh to just hold Taija-Lynn one more time. And yet God’s promise is very real and he is to me what he promises. In fact this last while I have been stuck (a good stuck) on a verse of scripture in Hosea chapter 2. It talks about the pain of transition. Hosea understood it very well, and God ministered to him and through him to bring much good for his own life as well as the life of Israel. It has touched the very core of my being. God has done his part and now I must do my part. Receive what he has promised, be intentional about making that foremost in my thinking and when I miss them more than I think I can take, I know I can cry out to the Lord and he gets it. He is ever present in times of trouble.

I realize in my relationship with the Father, I don’t have to put on a good front. I don’t have to be all tough and resilient to pain. I can be fragile and have moments when the tears come and there is no shame in this. I am not a better missionary for not being real. I believe in fact while I write this that some of you understand exactly what I feel like. It’s in being real with God and with others that we are healed or ministered unto.

Take it from a new Grandma, there is no life like it, but remember we are still God’s children with a work to do, and not to give up.

Sharing what’s on my heart….
I hope it comforts yours…..

Colleen Guskjolen


What’s been on my mind…?
….It was raining in our condo!

My beloved husband James is so kind to do things around our condo that I ask of him.
I had finally bought some curtain rods and curtains for our laundry room and kitchen. So today was the day. The project was being put together, the tools were coming out, and while I was in the kitchen fixing supper, I was pleased to have him working in the room right next to me. I could here the cords being plugged in, the tools being pulled out and the master was ready to work. Then without warning I hear this loud voice shout “Oh NO!!!” I ran from the kitchen sink and looked at James. He was standing on the ladder watching as his worst fear came upon him he hit a main water pipe with the drill. Our laundry room floor soon began to fill up with water. Questions rush out our mouths --where to shut this water off? And where is this water coming from? Without hesitation even with the rain coming in my home with no umbrella, I go looking for the care taker who only speaks Spanish. It’s amazing how much Spanish comes out of your mouth when you have an emergency.
So I finally find Juan, the caretaker and drag him to our condo to show him our water problem. He looks up and shakes his head, his only way he could help us was to show us where to turn the water off. Thank the Lord. However, we still needed a plumber.

We had one more token in our pocket. We had a prior situation in our condo that demanded we have a plumber and electrician. After a few calls we found our friend the plumber. He was on the way, and by the time I write this blog he has repaired the leak, and will return in the morning to fix the ceiling, bless his heart. (It’s a lot of work when you are dealing with cement.)

Rain in the condo is not a usual circumstance. We don’t expect to have water falling from our ceilings. And if it happens we don’t like it, never mind think that God will use it as an opportunity to minister some way some how. But I know the Father does.
I have to share that immediately as I see the “rain come down “(and I use the term rain because we don’t have control over the rain) great peace filled my heart.
I knew my heavenly Father is about to shift into care mode and make sure he is my help and sustainer and very present in a time of trouble. It would have been easy to panic, get angry or to just sit and cry and add my tears to the already buckets of water. None of which would help the situation. I believe God will use all our circumstances for His good and His glory if we let him and we don’t get in his way. You see the last time this plumber came to our house and fixed some things, we had a really good time talking and sharing. But James and I both felt like we need and would like another opportunity to see him and maybe somehow minister the love of Christ. How do you get a plumber to come to your home? Do a rain dance!!! Just kidding!!! Bad joke…in reality pray that God would make a way and then watch him work. Sometimes his work causes me inconvenience and my being displaced in my kitchen for an evening.


We desire so much to see the Lord work in the lives of others, and yet when he does it if we are not looking we will only see it as a trial instead of a trail to lead others to him.
Next time you have rain in your condo or home or life….think about what the Lord may want to do, and then rest in Him to bring it to pass. I am trying hard to see what God’s doing in all my circumstances…divine delays and all.

…Trust what’s on my mind challenges yours!

What’s on my mind…?

…That your mind can read!

Lately in a bible study that James and I are attending we have looked at scriptures concerning divine delays. Why do I label them divine? I believe the Father in his Sovereignty allows situations or circumstances to be delayed. It is an interesting topic, because for the most part it goes against everything that our society strives against, and works hard to avoid. Not that anyone has any control over all delays, especially God ordained ones, but it is something we don’t schedule into our day planners.

My interest in this topic is two fold, my reaction to divine delays, and what fruit can come from them if I don’t strive against what I ultimately can’t control.

The scripture we examined was in Nehemiah chapters 1 and 2 where Nehemiah after hearing the very excruciating news about Judah was in utter despair and yet for four months he was unable to say or do anything about the matter until God opened the door. And when God did, He opened it wide. There are many other instances in the Word that we could look at, and I am not going into the details of the study. My desire is to challenge us to allow this principle to affect our everyday lives.

In examining my reaction to delay of any kind, I find that I tend to first of all try all I can to remedy the matter. Then if I am in good form spiritually, the Father often graciously allows me insight into the matter and I realize that the delay is a gift from God; even if I don’t understand all the angles on the onset. Once I realize that the delay is out of my control, I have a choice to make. I can both rest and still do my part; (my part would consist of intercession for the matter and making sure that if I can do something that I should not procrastinate) or I can worry, fret, get others involved that don’t belong in the situation or get angry. In the latter instance I end up paralyzed to hear or discern. Unfortunately I have been guilty of the latter more times than I like to admit.
The part I am asking the Lord to help me with is the “rest” part. I know that when I “rest”, and yet still do as I am guided, I am free. Free of responsibility of the outcome and free from the anxiety and all that goes with that.

When I “rest” in the Lord’s sovereignty and the divinity of the delay, I have seen marvelous fruit come to pass; fruit in the situation, fruit in my life, and fruit in the lives of others. What do I mean by fruit? I have seen the Lord actually spare our lives because of a divine delay! (Long story!) I have witnessed the Lord allow the outcome to be even better than expected due to a delay. I have discovered a depth to relationships because of my “rest” in the Lord. They see the Father in me, instead of me. I have experienced great inner peace in “resting” during the delay.

This discussion commands a question–why? Why can you and I rest, when things are out of control, and it may appear like they are out of God’s control? We can rest when we sincerely believe, trust and depend on God. That has been the key in “resting” in the delay! If I really believe God is Sovereign over the kingdoms of men, as the Word declares, then I can and must “rest”. The fruit is a motivator, and the need for peace on a moment to moment basis is crucial.

My challenge to myself and to you is this…when you face your next delay, check out whether it’s a divine situation not just tardiness on your part, and then put these principles into action. You will be amazed at how different life can be in some of the most stressful times in your life.

“Resting in Him”
Colleen Guskjolen

What’s on my mind these days…?

I’ve been in Panama just over a month, and I have learned so much about living overseas again, about myself, and about life with God.

I forgot how great it was to nest and to set up our home. We have enjoyed living in our condo. It is a real joy after being married 27 years (this past Valentine’s Day), that now I finally have a taste about what I like in a home. It’s securing to know what you like, and I don’t have to waiver due to other’s taste or opinions.

This has led me to realize what I have learned about myself. For a long time, I always depended on other people’s ideas, convictions, and desires. I didn’t ever know what I wanted or desired or was convicted about. I worried so much about what other people thought about me that I didn’t listen to my own heart and mind. Security in your own choices and desires makes you free. You don’t have to criticize others for your lack or your gain. You don’t have to brag about what you have or don’t have. You know the things that matter to you and what has made you look at life like you do and not apologize for it.

When it comes to my relationship with God, for many years I let others determine my convictions my habits and my calling. That would probably seem odd to some of you who know me so well, because I seem so strong willed and determined. That has only come with years. It has come with being at the depths of your own well of life and trying to figure out what is God really saying and what is he is not saying. When I got sick over 5 years ago, I thought my life in the Lord was over. I was unproductive, I didn’t speak much, I didn’t sing, I could barely go to church. I felt that I was such a failure with the Lord. But what I didn’t realize is that God used this time and is still using it, to shape me. I got to know God; in the secret place. Not in activity but in the stillness. I got to trust Him in the times of paralysis. In the times when I didn’t hear his voice, I just knew his presence. These have been valuable years, but I didn’t understand it, until I came to Panama. Strange how taking you out of the “ norm”, and putting in you in a place of total dependence on God stretches you and pushes you to find out what is really going on and what you really want out of life, living and God.

That is kind of what’s been on my heart these days. It’s good to journal your thoughts and expose them to others.

The other joy in my life is our children, Josh and his wife Tyla and their beautiful daughter Taija-Lynn. She is growing so fast. When ever I see pictures of her, I think she is so alive and ready to learn and grow. I miss her and her parents more than words can say.
Thanks for praying for me, and thanks for all your encouragement throughout the years.

Full of life and lovin’ it…
Colleen


What’s on my mind….

…Granny hood!

Christmas and Granny hood is synonymous with someone being spoiled! That someone you may have guessed is our new baby grand daughter Taija-Lynn Guskjolen. She has not worked for my love, she has not earned her spoiling rank; she just is. Just by the fact that she exists I love to spoil her. I have spoiled her a little at this age, but she has yet to experience the real spoiling of a loving Grandma. I can’t wait. I look forward to taking her to Gap kids, Lasenza Girl, and some of the shops that sell all the bling, bling that we as women love to wear. I don’t know if she is even going to like to shop, but I am going to give my best shot to give her a taste of the girly girl life style.

You may think, wow she is only a month old. Don’t get ahead of yourself Granny. You may be right, but just as I think of my total endless no exception kind of love for Taija-Lynn, I think of my heavenly Father. His love for me, I am realizing, is even more than how I love Taija-Lynn. I can’t wrap my head around that, but He says he loves me with everlasting love. He loves me, not based on what I do, but who I am. He is not happy when I don’t obey him, but his love doesn’t change. In fact, I have experienced and scriptures bear it out, that the Father accelerates his love actions when I do mess up.
He promised to discipline me when I am in error. Then I would know I am not an illegitimate child. Wow…that rocks my world. To think that my disobedience causes God to act in such a way that I would know and not doubt that I am loved my Him.

When I think of Taija-Lynn growing up…I don’t want her to think she can get away with doing any thing she wants. That’s not spoiling her…that’s showing her that I don’t love her. She, without even knowing it, needs me to be consistent with her parents’ rules. When we are on the same page with her discipline, she will have a consistent love that doesn’t change. She will not be insecure about who loves her nor will she be insecure about her self-worth.

Sometimes growing up, I did find myself being insecure, because I didn’t have an example that was consistent like the Father’s love for me. This whole fatherly love that is endless is toward me, is overwhelming for me. I am learning every day how to receive the Father’s love and how to pass it along. I want to exemplify that love to Taija-Lynn. I want her to know my love, but ultimately I want her to know the love of her Heavenly Father.


November 19, 2007

T9 is on My Mind

I had a great moment with my married son, Joshua the other day. We are always talking about electronics and computers and stuff. He loves to share his wisdom with his tech challenged Mom.

We were sharing about our text messages and how they often take time and for me and were more difficult in some situations. Josh was able to show me a cool thing that I had not realized. For all whom use text messaging, you will know there is a T9 option on the phone. I had shied away from it due to its perceived complication, but when Joshua finished explaining things to me, I had a new and easy way to text. He said that texting with T9 is actually faster because the computer in the phone thinks for you or anticipates what you are thinking and wanting to say. Interesting! A computer can actually interpret my thoughts and words.

Well, it may not be that accurate, but the analogy that came to me when I had finished my text lesson was that God is like this with us. He knows our needs, he knows our words, and he is our heavenly Father who anticipates what is going to happen in our lives.

Shortly after this illustration came to me, I was reading in Exodus 17, and there is a verse there that really ministered to me. This is what it said, “I will stand there before you by the rock at Horeb”. In my illustrative terms God is saying I will T9 you at the rock at Horeb.

The context of this scripture puts Moses at the moment God told him to strike the rock and water will come out for the children of Israel to drink. This was a real anxious time for Moses. The children of Israel were really angry that Moses had taken them out of Egypt. Out of security, familiarity, and provision, even though Pharoah’s whole intention was to destroy them. Moses was surrounded by quarreling angry people. He needed help right now. God in his faithfulness and all knowingness anticipated Moses needs and the needs of Israel. He gave Moses implicit instructions and told him how he would provide for his people miraculously. Moses had to believe that God would do what he said he would do…he had to believe that God would actually go there before him by the rock at Horeb, and when he struck the rock the water indeed would come out.

Moses had a T9 moment. He experienced the Father’s anticipatory actions first hand. I challenge you today. Check out how many times you see the Father anticipate circumstances for you. How many times he goes before you and is in fact already there when you get there.


With T9 on my mind,
Colleen



August 28, 2007

What’s been on my mind…?

W H I T E S P A C E

What am I talking about? James and I just spent 10 days at Transitions in Toronto (conference for new and used Missionaries). During that conference the moderators stressed people’s need for time out, for intentional rest times, in other words “white space”. Time that you strategically take to get refreshed, filled up, or refueled. You would think when you get to schedule your own schedule that creating “white space” would be easy. Just make time! However, people who run their own schedule usually are type A, or are consumed to get things done now, not tomorrow. Procrastination does not exist.
We talked at length about how to make “white space” happen. We shared many different personal experiences and different scenarios. All good, yet the bottom line is when do you get “white space”? When can you schedule it, create it to be set in stone without the guilt or the urgent to not over take it?
I want to take a moment to be accountable to you. I am going to be intentional in making “white space” a weekly discipline. There are many demands on our life at present. We are traveling full time, we are sharing and speaking our passion for missions, we are totally focused to do the Call. Yet I know that to be effective in all those areas I need to be intentional to create “white space”. My plan with the help of Holy Spirit is to identify a time in my week for my “white space”. Then I want to make sure that I am not just taking time to rest. I want to fill that time with solitude, with laughter (maybe a funny movie, or book), with shopping for a pair of shoes, or going for coffee at my favorite coffee place. Productive “white space” must be personal.

How about you? What is your plan with a busy fall ahead of you? Have you made plans for “white space”, or are you just interested in getting the plans and demands completed? You can wait until all is done, but I have discovered that intentional “white space” during your schedule is better than a marathon and then crashing at the end.

Whatever your choice, take the “white space” challenge, you’ll be amazed how it will take away the blues!

PS…We spent some time in Panama at the beginning of August and I will share about that next time.

Colleen

What’s up with that…

July 30, 2007
…It always amazes me how God takes care of everything for us even before we ask. I have been dwelling on his provision for us over the years. He has shown himself to be faithful and fatherly. The fatherly part has especially been of keen interest to me. When we feel that family or friends don’t know what we need, or are unable to meet our needs we can become discouraged and look to them as a source that fails. The Lord had to show me that He is my Father and He will take care of me and that I can trust him with my whole life.

Let me share with you just a few potent incidents. We had just married and James and I were planting a new church in rural Saskatchewan. We were so excited, not because they offered a huge salary or a great benefit package, but that we were called to go and we wanted so much to be obedient regardless of our needs. The Faithful and Fatherly God we serve came through for us many times. On one particular occasion we found an anonymous envelope in our mail box with enough money for new tires. The cost of the tires at that time was the sum of our entire months salary. I was so thankful and my heart was so full because God laid on someone’s heart our need and they were obedient.
In our next place of ministry the Father provided great friends and a real sense of family. Little did we know how we would be challenged and faced with trials. We really needed these great friends to encourage us and pick us up during some really challenging times. I am very pleased to tell you those people are still our very close and dear friends.
When we moved to Africa as missionaries in 92’ his faithful and fatherly ways did not fail us. One of the most astounding times was when I was to go home to Canada because I was not well. We had no money for the plane ticket but somehow I got on the flight after someone guaranteed the fact that when I arrived in Canada I would have $3800.00 to pay for my ticket. I will be honest; I wasn’t sure how this was going to turn out. My heart was doing flip flops and my anxiety levels were trying to over take me. Yet my Father had it all in hand before I was even home. Upon my arrival to Canada I was greeted with an envelope containing 38 100 dollar bills. I wept. When James and Joshua returned home from Africa, that blessing helped to fund their plane ticket as well. It didn’t end there. My Father saw fit to find us a place to live, furnish it to last detail, and to provide for us a car.

Our Father is concerned about the details; big and small ones. I hope this somehow brings a smile to your face and courage in your heart to know that same faithfulness and fatherliness is there for you. By the way just so you know, the Father has already gone ahead of us to Latin America and the Caribbean. ---Yeah!!!


July 4, 2007
…I am in a strange time in my life. I have no home to scrub, no groceries to buy, no toilets to clean. If I sound a bit relieved, it’s because in a way I am. The cool thing about all this is that it is preparation for our major transition to Latin America and the Caribbean. Change for some can sound like a dirty word, but for me it has been exciting. Change challenges me to the very core of my being, like making decisions about the future based solely on faith. This is a reality I am learning to enjoy. In change comes the opportunity for a lot of first’s. My first time going to Panama; first time meeting the missionaries in the region; first time leaving a grandbaby (that will be a hard one); first time speaking trying to speak Spanish. What makes “first’s” palatable is that by the time you get to the first’s God let’s you know that he has gone before you so that He is there “first”. Your trust factor grows in leaps and bounds. There are many things yet to change but what is so incredible is that God has given me contentment for the moment and his peace for the future. For those of us who are nurtures and nesters this is truly a work of grace.

Talk to you next week!

Extras

Feliz Navidad

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